Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
