why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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