My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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