I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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