shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
should my penis look like a turkey
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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