she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize