Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
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Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
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Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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