You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize