oh god the rape fog is back!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
