This is not my ceiling
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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