Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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