Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry tinuviel hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?

Fav 56 6858 1660
share tweet
(865): View more from Tennessee

Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.

Fav 11 6252 913
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.

Fav 22 5971 1209
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

we've started having sober sex

(203): View more from Connecticut

you really do like him

Fav 19 9225 1346
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."

Fav 7 1285 4003
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up

Fav 4 1264 1965
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.

Fav 8 721 1463
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...

Fav 13 566 1128
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.

Fav 0 45 28
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT