I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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