What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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