Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize