Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
