I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
