3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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