i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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