so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
