Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My dick has a subreddit
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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