It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
