Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
