I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
