I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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