She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I had to cum in my sink.
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