He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
