This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
