I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
