Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
