my mouth tastes like poor choices
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
