Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
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The pigeons can smell the fear
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.