well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.