I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.