is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers