Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.