yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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