I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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