Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
