We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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