I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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