Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
