I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
is it fun? or sober?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
