made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
