every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
