when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
