Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
