I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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