i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
