He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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