white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
last night I used snow as a chaser
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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