Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
