Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
