I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
