the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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