Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
