idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
