My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
