I must be too annoying 4 u.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
