I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
