Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
