Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
