youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Can Purell be used as lube?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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