That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
