Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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