I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i out mim tonsoeep
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