i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
