So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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