I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do vagina's smell?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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