I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
